I think that 2018 was undoubtedly on of the wierdest years to date. It wasn't horrible, it was just weird. It had a couple of shinning moments ( Shout out to The Carters, and Micelle Obama and my daughter Nala for being some of my favorite people) but the year as a whole felt like a scratch I just could not itch.
Perosnally, I had A LOT going on. Financially I was constantly trying to catch up, I had an unexpected move (like 24 hours unexpected), I quit like 5 jobs due to not having childcare and I had family issues that I held on to but could not control. I failed to have an adequate personal life, I flat out struggled to see myself as a competent mother and human being. I could not win and this soon turned into depression.
I had 5 mental + emotional breakdowns, I slept more, and I gained 15 pounds and experienced a myriad of physical ailments. Everything was out of wack and I was just giving in and giving up.
I don’t consisder myself a resolution type of girl but I do believe in making goals when I can stick to them. But because of my mental space, I decided on simply setting a theme for the way that I wanted my life to go. So this chapter of my life is called, “Fight For Your Life.”
Fight: verb. To endeavor vigorously to win (at an election or contest). I am in competition with absolutely no one other than the person I was yesterday. And for that, I will fight with full intent to persevere and win.
verb. Engage in (a war or battle). This will be a life- changing shift that requires all senses on deck. It will indeed be a battle of mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual maintenance. And it will not be pretty but it will all be conquered.
verb. Move forward with difficulty, especially by pushing through a crowd or overcoming physical obstacles. I see this as me turning faith and fear into my superpower and getting to where I want to be. I have to silence everything that is not like-minded and see myself through this. I cannot allow “life happened to me” so much that I completely forgot to live it how I envisioned it.
Bottom line: I am in control and I can command, manage, and maneuver this thing. And I’m just beginning.