A couple days ago, I stirred up some feelings on Twitter when I said, "If you think the only way to get out of your feelings and into your bag, you're not hearing correctly." While I didn't mean to step on any necks, I meant what I said.
Now, I don't mean to be mean. I promise this is not that. However, someone had to say it. To be honest , I just believe that we are desensitizing ourselves for the culture. That means, that we are consciously making ourselves skip the processing that it takes to bounce back from the previous adversity, relationship, or whatever has slighted us. This is just feels a bit backwards. And I know that healing isn't linear and doesn't look the same, but completely evading the process is an entirely different thing.
And here's a little context, because I'm not exempt. I hold myself to the same accountability.
I spent months in a situationship with someone who was involved. Judge ya momma, not me. Anyway, when I recently began to feel more than ever, alone and knew that I was lowering my vibration and working backwards in my manifestations by continuing to do stay here. Quarantine was a blessing in disguise because that's when the strain happened between us. When we could no longer be up under each other playing pretend and acting like this was going somewhere when it wasn't. When we "broke up", that shit hurt. Because you know, I was attached . I played Kiana Lede, "Wicked Games" because that was the sum of our situation. We argued, made up and made uo and broke up again. This was a cycle. And the one thing I could think was, " I can't keep doing this." Trying to make a long story short but failing miserably, one of of our hiatuses I began to dig into me which turned out to not only boost my productivity but my pockets as well. This was the confirmation. That although, I was sad, and in my feelings ultimately, that I could be Naima. Just Naima.
Now this is where the choice comes in: I could take this bag and run with it, OR I can take a pause, check in with my heart and fill myself back up so I can fill the bag that much more. Which one do you think I chose?
Yea, I chose the latter. No more toxic patterns, the way we give ourselves permission to immerse ourselves in our feelings. Give yourself some time to be in your feelings.
That is just doing nothing but jumping from one fire to the next.
Here are some tips that that I'd like to share that don't involve being vacant in the experience to make yourself a more whole person after coming from strife.
1. Get Present.
Know that you are here. In this moment . It's ok.
2. Feel whatever the fuck you want to feel.
Ugh, thees feels again! Yeah, that's right. You got em so feel them. Trying to deflect takes so much more energy than just letting the shit flow.
3. Forgive yourself.
No matter whether you were the blame or not. Take responsibility for whatever role you did or did not play in the outcome. Then, Breathe. Let it go. Know that there is a valuable lesson in this. And if it doesn't show up immediately, know that the answer is somewhere.
4. Give yourself some grace + space to be.
Meet yourself where you are. Sit with her for a while. Do things that fill your cup, even if that is doing absolutely nothing.
5. The bag will be there.
Whatever venture you are about to make happen is going to go that much harder because now you have this cleared space in your heart and your mind to see it through fully with bossed up and bounced back energy
Happy healing, learning, and loving,